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By Allen Boivin-Brown
Writing an effective DS Report is an art, not a science.
There are no magic formulas or specific rules, but there are
guidelines and principles which can help. In Part
2 (Tip #4), we considered, “Layout & Appearance.”
Now, let’s focus on . . .
WORDSMITHING
Suggesting revisions to someone else’s report can be
touchy. You must be careful not to change a writer’s
unique voice or specific intent, but you can often enhance
clarity and accuracy in three ways:
1. Eliminate unnecessary words.
Condense and clarify by eliminating words that are not necessary
to the explanation.
Wordy: Over 5 years effectively
assisting welfare clients in several different positions
that include experience in interviewing, managing spreadsheets,
and enrolling participants.
Condensed: Over 5 years
effectively assisting welfare clients by interviewing, managing
spreadsheets, and enrolling participants.
The key words are the same. The intent is the same. But cutting
out unnecessary verbiage makes the statement not only shorter
but clearer.
2. Substitute active verbs for passive
phrases.
Here are some common passive phrases that can be replaced
with active verbs.
a) Responsible for . . .
You can be responsible for something but never actually do
it! Did you do it? If so, say so.
Passive: Responsible
for taking out the garbage every day.
Active: Took out the
garbage every day.
b) Experienced in . . .
Being experienced could mean you did it once, or have done
it often but very poorly. Having experience really says nothing
about your level of proficiency. Can you do it well? If so,
say so.
Passive: Experienced
in C+ computer programming.
Active: Skilled C+ computer
programmer.
c) Worked with . . .
This could mean you served coffee to the other team members
while they did the important work. What kind of work did you
do? What was your role? Use an active verb that describes
what you did.
Passive: Worked with
a state-wide team of professionals to organize a yearly
conference.
Active: Coordinated a
state-wide team of professionals to organize a yearly conference.
d) Helped . . .
This is such a general term. It tells nothing about what
you actually did. How did you help? Again, use an active verb
that describes what you did.
Passive: I helped put
on a community play.
Active: I designed and
printed advertising flyers for a community play.
3. Eliminate constrictors.
In most cases, don’t constrict the context of strengths
in the description paragraph. Leave the context as open as
possible.
Constricted: Effective
communicator with learning disabled students.
Open: Effective communicator.
Using the constrictor, “with learning disabled students,”
limits the application of your strength. You have said you
are only effective at communicating with one population. That’s
a good way to get stuck in one kind of work.
The Report is intended to open up new possibilities. So,
if your Dependable Strength is communicating
(as a skilled listener and speaker), then you can use your
strength with anyone. Right? Can’t you communicate effectively
with more than one kind of audience? Eliminate the context
in which you now use a strength to allow readers to suggest
other areas in which that strength can be applied.
Follow this guideline EXCEPT when you (with much forethought
and clear intention) specifically choose to limit yourself
to a particular field or type of work!
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